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Astrobrot: The Introduction

Blame it on clip art, circa 1997.

That's when in my adolescent boredom, I got the idea to anthropomorphize a loaf of Italian bread, using a program called Novell Presentations to make semi-animated slideshows. These files have since been lost to history.

In the first slideshow, a loaf of bread kills a mosquito by smushing it. He, in turn, is splatted by a huge disembodied fist.

Then a loaf is almost smashed by a fist, but dodges the blow, laughing gloatingly. He is then smashed by an even larger fist, which takes up the whole screen for added menace.

Part 2: The loaf is on an airliner, sitting next to a loaf with lips (the first female loaf), and thinking about what to say to her. An apple passes by and asks if they need anything. Suddenly, the plane lists. In the cockpit, the two co-pilots panic. The plane is smashed in midair by an airborne fist.

Part 3 adds further scale and depth to the Bread Saga. Breadian cities are being "bombed" by giant parafists. The United Breads (the Breadian UN) convenes and agree to mobilize a bread army to destroy the fists, in an alliance with the Corn-sortium. Fierce battles rage on land, at sea, and in the air. The breads are taking heavy losses when the Cornish forces come in, and it is revealed that the Fist are allergic to corn. Facing defeat and annihilation by the Corn, the Fist decide to leave the planet, escaping into outer space.

After that initial peace caused by the Fist exodus, the Breadians are free to rebuild and reclaim lost territory. They eventually develop spacefaring technology and faster-than-light propulsion, enabling them to explore the galaxy. But disaster befalls them when they happen upon the planet where the Fist settled. Their strength rebuilt, the Fist launch another crushing invasion upon the Breadian homeworld, and begin the wholesale subjugation of its people.

The occupation ends after a massive uprising of ordinary Breadians, assisted by the remnants of the Breadian military. Known as the Great Rise, this revolt spurred a second Fist exodus and the birth of the New Breadian Republic.

The web comic, (usually) posted every Tuesday on Robot Martini, takes place 36 years after the Great Rise. It chronicles the adventures and misadventures of the crew of the Breadian Stellar Navy Starship Apex, commanded by Captain Laurel Laszlo Lutz.

So then, Astrobrot truly is about bread in the dead of space. Carbs in the cosmos. Sourdough in the stars. The strip is replete with puns, as well as CGI, which every good sci-fi production needs.


Astrobrot: The Bios

Learn more about the various characters in the strip; from their backstories and birthdays to favorite food. (These bios were made before Lutz's Pink addiction turned him pink; updates in the works, please excuse our crumbs.)


Astrobrot: The Archive (In Progress)

Season 1 - Bread in Space - (23 episodes, strips 1-23.) Strips are episodic and simple in design; usually contain one or two puns. Introduces some characters, but most go unnamed. Next to no character development.

Season 2 – Mystery of Bonpain Station Arc - (13 episodes, strips 24-36.) Serial story beginning on Breadia Prime (San Brancisco, specifically) and chronicles the Bonpain mission. Ends with beginning of Lutz's Pink addiction.

Season 2.5 – Post-Bonpain Arc - (10 episodes, strips 37-46.) Story continues; loose ends of Bonpain arc tied up. Big shakeup in the Apex crew as Lutz faces a personal crisis and Greenhorn must deal with new responsibilities.

Season 3 – The Fist Incursion Arc - (23 episodes, strips 47-69.) Season begins with a shock in the Breadian capital in the middle of President Kitfo’s inauguration. Chronicles the Retribution and Apex’s battle with the Fist, including Captain Lutz's return to form. Season ends in a cliffhanger.

Season 4 – ASTROBROT Begins Arc - (7 episodes, strips 70-76.) With the Fist gone (for now), Lutz uses the capital he gained by saving Breadia by appealing to the President for special command of a new unit external of the military to continue the fight against the fist. He enlists Squab’s help, and the two agree to form the ASTROBROT task force.

Season 4.5 – Bean Bun / Calm Before the Storm Arc - (11 episodes, strips 77-87.) Petty Officer Mizuki Sakemanju and her boyfriend Lt. Matzo are ordered to negotiate a contract with an arms conglomerate that just happens to be headed by Mizuki’s brother Ichiro. A shogi game in the past decided whether he or she won the company’ chairmanship from their father, and she must now deal with that. With the new Apex ][ armed and operational, the ASTROBROT task force departs from Breadia Prime at the worst possible time...

Season 5 – The Fist Hits the Fan Arc - (10 episodes, strips 88-97.) After leaving orbit for Fist territory, the Apex ][ receives distress calls. Squab takes the Retribution to investigate and ends up in the middle of an huge orbital battle between a new armada of Fist and the Breadian defence fleet, including Captain Hazel Cassidy of the SNS Stiletto.

Season 6 – Sic Itur Ad Astra - (?? episodes, strips 98-??.) The current season.